“No”, I said, “it was only recent, upon checking my grades, that I realized na pwede pala.” This was my answer to Dra. Alba’s question during my UERM interview about whether or not I originally planned receiving any honors come graduation.

I never considered myself an achiever. I’ve always belonged in the cream section, our school’s version of star section, back when I was in grade school but I rarely make it to the Outstanding Students list. And on the few occasions that I did, it wasn’t hard to spot my name at the bottom of the said list.

Things started to change when I entered high school. Finally, during my freshman year, I managed to snag rank 8 out of 11 honor students. Not bad at all. Then everyone was surprised, myself included, during 1st quarter of my 2nd year when I became number one in our class and 3rd in the whole high school department. This self-proclaimed achievement motivated me to work harder because I don’t want people thinking na nakachamba lang ako. True enough, it continued for the rest of the quarters and I landed 5th in rank during that school year’s recognition day. By my third year in HS, I already had a pretty good reputation and I started joining quiz bees but as expected, I always came home empty-handed. Still, the year finished with me in rank 3. When I managed to top the whole batch during the first quarter of my last year in high school, I had false hopes of becoming the valedictorian. Of course it didn’t happen given that my grades got low in the succeeding quarters and the previous years were also taken into consideration. In the end, I graduated top 4 of the batch.

If you were to graph my studying career, you’d find the lowest point on January 5, 2008. Hah! I never forget the happiest and saddest dates of my life. It was when I learned that I didn’t make it to ADMU, my used-to-be dream university. It was a Sunday when I got to see the list with my own eyes and I remember weeping while kneeling at the church. Sad, I know. But that depression didn’t last long because a week later, I got news that I passed UPCAT. I still can’t believe how I passed it and failed the ACET. Anyway, while it sent me to cloud 9, I had this fear that I wouldn’t survive UP given the culture, the pressure and all the brainiacs I’ll have to deal with. But huzzah! Just look at me now! Still alive and kicking and just a few months away from graduation.

Earlier in my stay in the university, I came to realize that I’m nerdier than most of my classmates. Before I had friends to spend my breaks with, I used to stay in the library for hours and study for our discussion groups (DG)—some kind of a quiz given to us in the lab every Friday. Surprisingly, I got better scores than my labmates and although I’m just sitting pretty at one corner of the room, deep down I’m proud of myself. Very very proud. But mind you, college was no easy journey either. I never had a sleepless night but neither a good night’s sleep. There were semesters when I had to survive a day with only 2 or 3 hours of zzz’s. I also failed a number of exams. The first was Chem 17, the second was Chem 17 and the 3rd was Chem 17. But in case you’re wondering, I passed the course although it has come to be my lowest chemistry subject ever. That and Chem 34 (organic chemistry).

When Raphee entered the picture, he became both an inspiration and a competition. My competitive self resurfaced after a long time of idleness. It was the healthy kind though, for I never really wanted to beat him. Err, maybe just in text twist. Haha! But really, all I wanted to be was to be his equal. It’s just that I don’t want people to get the impression that I’m so dependent on him. That I’m lucky because he’s so good in school and I’m a freeloader and all that. Mayabang ako eh and maybe between the two of us, it’s true that I’m the luckier one but he’s lucky to have me too! Plus, if there’s one thing I want people to remember about us as a couple, it’s that we truly inspire one another. I want people to see that contrary to popular belief, love (if viewed and handled the right way), is not a distraction to one’s studies but the opposite. It can work wonders! In fact, if I were to inflate my head a little more, our relationship has done nothing but boost our grades up, up, up!

Now, going back to the first paragraph of this entry, while what I said is true, I wouldn’t really say that I entered college without even a speck of goal. When I got exempted in our Chem 16 final exam and figured that some subjects do offer exemptions given certain conditions, that became my goal. To be exempted in every exam where there’s an exemption. And a few days ago, I realized that I already achieved it! More so, today, my mom treated me with some of my favourite foods as a reward for being a College Scholar for 2nd sem AY 2010-2011 and 1st sem AY 2011-2012. I was actually hoping I could pin those two certificates to my cork board but for some reason, I wouldn’t be going to the recognition day (happening at this very moment). So making up for those papers is this post. Just to serve as a little tribute to my hard work and everything I’ve gone through for my diploma’s sake. This is definitely more than what I had initially hoped for and I just couldn’t be more proud of myself. :)